Sometimes I am filled with a hope and wonder that almost lifts me out of my chair. We have had this conversation several times, you have argued, cancelled your next session, suggested that I need therapy and otherwise said no, loud and clear.
Today you are leaning forward, saying I don’t understand but I want to understand. You ask a question and listen to the answer. I can’t seem to make it clear. I am speaking another language. It is the language of connection, of relationship. You speak loneliness and tell me how much you love yourself. You describe perfection as your first love, even while denying your wish for it.
Not today. Today you are beginning to hear that loneliness is not required, that you do not lose yourself, but become more than yourself by being connected to others. I am hopeful this year’s birthday, Thanksgiving, father’s days are the last you spend alone.