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thoughts & Feelings

June 12, 2020

Racist is a direct word. It calls out reality in communities, institutions and people. It is not an easy word to use, as it  elicits defense and denial. It is often proceeded by the words "I'm not" and the word "but" often follows. Racist is a noun referring to a perso...

May 22, 2020

It is a lament, a feeling, a crossing of fingers. However the wish is made to return to normal after the experience of loss, sudden change to work, school. contact with friends and family, it is a wish for something past. Pandemic has changed our world. We drive less,...

April 9, 2019

Resilient couples inspire me...they also forget how to use therapy

January 21, 2019

The language of connection

November 30, 2018

Sometimes there is no victim present in a trauma survivor. Someone may take the “others had it worse” approach or the “I got over it" view point. Why come to therapy then? Well because of the continuing struggle with relationships, responsibilities, anxiety and anger....

October 16, 2018

 I hold my breath. Usually this indicates that I have asked for something, something that I suspect will be refused. It may be to change the time of an appointment, it may be to add a detail to your description or it may be to tell me about a traumatic memory. I ask, n...

September 10, 2018

Sometimes I am fighting boredom. I know this is a signal that the person is not present or engaged. I reach out, asking for a detail or wonder out loud how he is feeling in that moment. These usually go ignored. I retreat a little myself, letting my mind wander. This i...

June 26, 2018

There are bills to pay and I welcome the mundane acts of stuffing envelopes, adhering stamps and clicking send. I am also aware of the request made for a letter of recommendation, I am simultaneously crafting that letter in my head, with the balance between my experien...

June 5, 2018

Three very elderly people walk by and they are talking about a man they knew. “He died young” someone comments. I smile, thinking of the perspective they hold. Was he 40, 50, more likely 60 or even 70. They slowly move away, taking space like only older groups of peopl...

May 15, 2018

I am sitting outside at a restaurant. A man at the next table keeps redirecting his dog by calling out his name, Dharma, Dharma sit, Dharma, leave it. Dharma, anxious yet aggressive, lunges at each passing dog. The man, sweating slightly, is trying to have a conversati...

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