Bored by absence
Sometimes I am fighting boredom. I know this is a signal that the person is not present or engaged. I reach out, asking for a detail or wonder out loud how he is feeling in that moment. These usually go ignored. I retreat a little myself, letting my mind wander. This is often what will connect the client to me. I notice greater eye contact, a searching look. As if asking “are you paying attention?” My presence is not seen, but my absence is noticed. I want to be connected. As I turn my gaze toward him, I feel him slip away. I give an out, asking about the content and letting go this process between us for now. I know my patience is important in order for that next conversation to occur and create connection, not our mutual absence.