I hold my breath. Usually this indicates that I have asked for something, something that I suspect will be refused. It may be to change the time of an appointment, it may be to add a detail to your description or it may be to tell me about a traumatic memory. I ask, not for myself, or at least that is what I tell myself. Partly it is for myself, for the relationship, for my own sense of doing good work, because we are stuck. But really I want to focus on how it is not for me. It is to heal the trauma, to shift perspective and so feel less of something awful, to practice being flexible and so not get fired from another job. It’s not for me, maybe it is for us. For our relationship to be meaningful, for each of us to witness greater wellness, wholeness, healing, to move towards whatever it is we endeavor together.